[Milliways]: First Gestures

[smallgayjew]

Posner can't believe that it's actually here. He can't believe he's finally leaving home (with Dakin) and moving out (with Dakin) and starting at Oxford (with Dakin). He's got all his essentials packed into a trunk and a suitcase, and it feels like too little to encompass his life so far, but it also feels appropriate to be starting a new life without any of the encumbrances of the old.

On the platform, he kisses his mum and hugs his dad and shakes his uncle's hand, and he tries not to look at the tears his mum is holding back, and he tries not to let his own fall. It isn't sad, not really. It's only...a bit frightening.

So he kisses his mum once more, and he lets her fix his hair, and he hugs his dad again, and then he takes a deep breath and lugs his trunk and his suitcase and his whole life onto the train and moves to find a seat by the window so he can wave them off they can wave him off.

And he doesn't sing Gracie Fields this time, but he wants to.

Comments

[smallgayjew]

David moves his hand thoughtfully, briefly entwining his fingers with Stuart's.

"It was your birthday, we had drunk and dined
Half of the night with our old friend
Who'd showed us in the end
To a bed I reached in one drunk stride.
Already I lay snug,
And drowsy with the wine dozed on one side.

I dozed, I slept. My sleep broke on a hug,
Suddenly, from behind,
In which the full lengths of our bodies pressed:
Your instep to my heel,
My shoulder-blades against your chest.
It was not sex, but I could feel
The whole strength of your body set,
Or braced, to mine,
And locking me to you
As if we were still twenty-two
When our grand passion had not yet
Become familial.
My quick sleep had deleted all
Of intervening time and place.
I only knew
The stay of your secure firm dry embrace."

[pushtheboatout]

"You have to wonder," murmurs Stuart, "if people overhearing this think we're speaking our own language."

[smallgayjew]

David laughs softly at that, shifting to lean against Stuart. "We are."

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart puts an arm around David's shoulders.

Instead of reciting, he softly sings.

"Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
When our time has come
We will be as one
God bless our love
God bless our love

Grow old along with me
Two branches of one tree
Face the setting sun
When the day is done
God bless our love
God bless our love

Spending our lives together
Man and wife together
World without end
World without end

Grow old along with me
Whatever fate decrees
We will see it through
For our love is true
God bless our love
God bless our love"

[smallgayjew]

David doesn't pull away this time, though his cheeks pinken a bit. He closes his eyes to listen to Stuart singing.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart brushes his lips against David's temple.

"Not that I believe in God," he says. "But neither did John Lennon."

[smallgayjew]

"I'm not sure I do either," David admits faintly, keeping his eyes closed purposefully so he can't see if anyone is watching.

[pushtheboatout]

"Still, sometimes it's nice to pray about the important things."

[smallgayjew]

"It's ritual," David says, since that is mostly what prayer has been for him. "Tradition."

[pushtheboatout]

"God bless our love," Stuart says.

[smallgayjew]

"Amen," David whispers.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart smiles and pulls him closer for a moment.

[smallgayjew]

David tries not to tense up, concentrating on breathing evenly.

[pushtheboatout]

"Relax," Stuart says. "Breathe. Think about that little house."

[smallgayjew]

"Where nobody cares," David murmurs, almost like a mantra.

[pushtheboatout]

"Where they love us for who we are."

[smallgayjew]

"And you see me there?" David asks, trying to banish the image of himself at a desk all alone.

[pushtheboatout]

"It's not my home if you're not there."

[smallgayjew]

"I suppose I'd better be, then."

[pushtheboatout]

"Yes, you'd better."

[smallgayjew]

David nods, but he still doesn't open his eyes.

[pushtheboatout]

"We'll have a garden," Stuart says. "Where we can read to each other."

[smallgayjew]

"What else?" David murmurs.

[pushtheboatout]

"A sitting room with a good stereo," says Dakin. "We dance together there. I look up from the paper and you look up from your book and we just get up and dance."

[smallgayjew]

David's smile deepens, and he shifts to get more comfortable.

"What else?"