[Milliways]: First Gestures

[smallgayjew]

Posner can't believe that it's actually here. He can't believe he's finally leaving home (with Dakin) and moving out (with Dakin) and starting at Oxford (with Dakin). He's got all his essentials packed into a trunk and a suitcase, and it feels like too little to encompass his life so far, but it also feels appropriate to be starting a new life without any of the encumbrances of the old.

On the platform, he kisses his mum and hugs his dad and shakes his uncle's hand, and he tries not to look at the tears his mum is holding back, and he tries not to let his own fall. It isn't sad, not really. It's only...a bit frightening.

So he kisses his mum once more, and he lets her fix his hair, and he hugs his dad again, and then he takes a deep breath and lugs his trunk and his suitcase and his whole life onto the train and moves to find a seat by the window so he can wave them off they can wave him off.

And he doesn't sing Gracie Fields this time, but he wants to.

Comments

[smallgayjew]

"I've never found love poems to be very good for that before."

[pushtheboatout]

"Well, things are different now."

He sighs--he has a perfect poem to cheer David up, but it'll just embarrass him here on the train.

"You can read sad stuff and be glad those days are behind you, and read happy stuff and be glad those days are here."

[smallgayjew]

David gives him a wry smile. "Easy as that, is it?"

[pushtheboatout]

"Yes," says Stuart firmly. "Easy."

[smallgayjew]

"We still can't all be you, Stuart," David replies.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart leans forward and scrubs his hands through his hair.

"What's it got to do with being me or not being me? All I'm saying is I never liked love poems until they started speaking to me, and then suddenly they were all speaking to me, good, bad and indifferent. Songs, too, they make more sense to me know than they ever have.

"It's nothing to do with me, it's you. So tell me how you're doing that, David Posner."

[smallgayjew]

David touches his shoulder lightly.

"You're happy, though, Stuart. You've always been happy. Only now you're...happy for different reasons. Maybe it is me, but it's you as well."

[pushtheboatout]

"And you're not happy," Stuart says, deflating.

[smallgayjew]

"I'm happy with you," David says quietly. "I'm happy to be going to Oxford. I'm happy with friends."

[pushtheboatout]

"Then I don't see what the problem is."

[smallgayjew]

"There's no problem," David says, choosing not to mention that he isn't always with Stuart or with friends or thinking of Oxford.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart looks at him a moment, then scoots down in his seat and leans his head on David's shoulder.

"All right, there's no problem."

Though he feels there is, and he doesn't know what it is, and his bludgeonly way of trying to discover it is going nowhere.

bedtime :)

[smallgayjew]

David smiles faintly. "Go to sleep, Stu. I'll wake you when we get there."

And that way, no one will mind Stuart's head on his shoulder.

me too. Good night!

[pushtheboatout]

"Never had a better pillow," Stuart murmurs, already drifting.

[smallgayjew]

David smiles to himself and hums softly as Stuart rests.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart actually falls asleep, much to his surprise.

And when Stuart sleeps, he has a tendency to, um, sprawl.

[smallgayjew]

David is torn. He doesn't want to wake Stuart, and it isn't that he minds having him sleeping in his lap, but...there are people on the train. Some of whom are actually beginning to stare.

Or at least, it feels like they are.

He nudges Stuart slightly.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart mumbles ("Muzzled hats and horseshoes", maybe) and shifts against Posner's shoulder.

[smallgayjew]

"Stuart," David says gently, shifting himself to place some distance between them if he can.

[pushtheboatout]

"'m awake," he mumbles, still asleep.

[smallgayjew]

"Sit up, love," David says.

[pushtheboatout]

Stuart inhales as he wakes, both abruptly, and blinks at David. "Sorry." He gathers himself back into his own seat.

[smallgayjew]

"'salright," David murmurs, but his cheeks are bright red.

[pushtheboatout]

"What are you blushing about?"

[smallgayjew]

"People are staring," he mumbles, looking out the window.